Suck For You Sasuke Uchiha!
by OrangeSmile
Summary: Sasuke get the horrid,itchy,and tormenting sickness that is the chicken pox! Its up to Naruto and Sakura to take care of him and not let him scratch,no matter what the cost! Oneshot No pairings VERY FUNNY!


Hooray for making Sasuke suffer

WELL Sasuke is a bit OC so don't tell me something I don't already know in a comment.

This story is about……as I said making Uchiha suffer. No pairings. No yaoi. No lemon. No new characters.

Just funny stuff.

Well some very very VERY slight SakuSasu but its more like Sasuke being friendly.

Which is OC so once again, don't tell me!

Yup so Sasuke gets the chicken pox cause….well I'm the writer!!!

I drew a comic about my friends 2 main characters in her story getting the chicken pox and it was soooo much fun to draw, I'm gonna write in Sasuke form!

So yes…..most likely a one shot.

In fact, it is a one shot.

BEGIN THE SHOW! KAKSHI! I KNOW THAT'S NOT A SCRIPT, ITS PORN!!!

(Sucks 4 U Uchiha!!!)

Kohona shimmered brightly in the path of the gleaming morning sun.

Sasuke dragged himself out of his cotton sheets feeling unusually tired and weak. He glanced at the clock, but couldn't focus on the time. His head pounded and he soon fell back onto his old mattress.

"I really don't wanna get up today" he complained. "I feel awful"

He eventually got outta bed after counting all the reasons why he shouldn't go to training but got ready for it anyway.

Then he took off his blue nightshirt. He felt an uncomfortable feeling on his shoulder blade. He looked at it as best as he could at it and saw red bumps on it that contained a tingling sensation. Basically, it itched.

"Whatever. Must be poison ivy or something" he told himself, rubbed his back on his wall and put on his semi-clean, blue shirt.

Sasuke eventually got ready but then realized that the time it took him to get up, lay back down, get up again and get dressed had taken him about 45 minutes.

Sasuke walked out of his door, feeling dizzy and tired…..and still itchy.

"Ugh. It must be spreading" he complained to himself.

The Uchiha finally arrived at his meeting place with the rest of his group on top of the bridge that they have all met at many times before.

"Hmm….Sasuke you're unusually late today." Kakashi pointed out, curious about the reasons his most promising student had been tardy.

"Yeah. Kakashi sensei got here earlier than you!" Naruto screamed. His eyes thinned sarcastically. "Slackin' off huh?"

"Shut up, baka. And can you not be so freakin' loud. It's way too early for that" Sasuke ordered while scratching his stomach.

"It's 1:30 in the afternoon!" Naruto yelled.

"Stop screaming!"

Sakura noticed something different about the boy whom she thought was oh so handsome. He had some bumps on his face and arms and wouldn't stop fidgeting. He also had a flushed and need of relief look on his face. Also he was paler than usual. (A/N heehee Sasuke is paler than ME! MWHAHAHAH!)

"Sasuke, are you alright? You don't look so good." Sakura asked in concern.

"I'm fine" he said totally not paying attention to her as he tried to relive his itch on his head.

Kakashi (being the Jounin he is) poofed infront Sasuke and put his hand on his forehead.

He noticed that his face was flushed and the bumps too.

"Sasuke, I think you're sick. It may be the chicken pox. Are you itching at all?"

"I think I …..just got some poison….. ivy. I'll be fine" he said, trying to scratch him everywhere but failing terribly.

Kakashi grabbed the hand he was scratching with and used the other to lift up his shirt.

Sakura blushed at his very nice torso that was red from Sasuke's attempt at pleasure.

It was covered in red bumps.

"Yup…chicken pox.."

Kakashi comprehended the situation. As he finally came to a conclusion he realized that the new mission that he was about to assign, could be fatal to the 2 healthy genin of team 7.

"I have to trust them…..it's…it's the only way!!" Kakashi thought to himself.

"Naruto, Sakura!!" he said extremely fiercely.

The two genin jumped and then gulped as the other tried to break free of his sensei's grip.

"You must……..take care of Sasuke."

Sasuke gasped. "THEY'RE gonna take care of me? Why can't you?"

"I've never had them before and I know that Iruka made Naruto get them. Sakura was vaccinated about 4 months ago. Take care Sasuke. And try not to scratch." Kakashi said and soon disappeared at lightning speed.

The word of the moment was most definitely this:

……..What the hell just happened?

Naruto was pissed.

"Ugh!! Like he's even gonna listen to me! THIS WILL BE HELL!!!!"

Sakura on the other hand was jumping for joy inside her head.

"I feel bad that he's sick but YEEEEEEESS!!!!! I get to take care of him for a whole week!!!"

They all headed back to Sasuke's house as Sasuke involuntarily started to scratch his neck. Then his back, leg, arm, back again, stomach, and other arm. Sakura caught him and grabbed his hands.

"No Sasuke! They'll just get worse!"

He grunted.

"Damn she saw me." he thought. "Think, what's her on…wait a sec….."

He smirked.

"It's me!!"

He soon started to become dragged by Sakura. She was holding both of his hands and they walked along. Naruto kept an eye on him.

"Heh, If he scratches, I GET TO YELL AT HIM AND HE CAN'T YELL BACK!!BELIEVE IT!" he thought.

Sasuke demised his plan. "This may take some acting but……." He felt the terrible sensation. "IT'S WORTH IT!!"

"Um…Sakura?" he said oh so cutely.

She turned around and practically dropped dead at the sight she saw.

Sasuke had a cute face on and his eyes were full of tears and sadness.

Well, fake sadness but that's ok.

"I'm…I'm so uncomfortable. Please…let go… just for a little bit?

Sakura was about to faint. It was so adorable!!!! But as much as she liked him, she couldn't let him. So she just said, "Sorry Sasuke but you'll just bleed and scar."

"I'M SORRY SASUKE!!! WAAAAA!!!!!!" she sobbed in her head.

She tugged him along and they finally reached his house.

Naruto kicked open the door.

"Can you not do that Naruto! This isn't even your house!" Sakura yelled. She was practically dragging the poor Uchiha inside.

Sasuke flopped on his couch while panting. "Tired."

"Wow you really are sick aren't you Sasuke?"

"What?! You thought I was faking it?! How could that help me in ANY way possible?"

"……………..I dunno"

"Baka"

"Pox face"

"Loser"

"Pox face"

"Unoriginal!"

"………..shut up."

"Hey Naruto I'm gonna make him some soup. Can you carry him to his room?" Sakura said searching for the pots.

"WHAT? How am I gonna do that?!?!" Naruto complained. Sasuke wasn't thrilled by the idea either. "Sakura, that's going a bit far. I can still walk even though I'm sick. Oh, and the pots are in the…….THUMP….." Sasuke said while falling to the ground. He hadn't fainted but he was really just too weak to walk.

"Um……..okay?" Naruto said. Sasuke was silent with a 'WTF?!?' expression on his face. Sakura was standing like 'Haha told ya so!'

After about 10 minutes of how to figure this out, Uzumaki ended up carrying Sasuke on his back. They walked up the stairs and Sasuke pointed out the direction of his bedroom.

"Three door's on the left"

Naruto went five doors down.

"No, go back.

Naruto went back 3 doors.

"One more forward."

Naruto went up one door and faced the wrong side of the hallway.

"Sasuke, this is the bathroom."

"I said the LEFT idiot"

"HEY!! YOU SHOULD BE GREATFUL! I COULD'VE JUST LEFT YOU DOWNSTAIRS BUT I……."

Naruto felt a heavy weight on his shoulder.

Sasuke had fallen asleep on him.

"Oh GOD!!! HE'S ASLEEP!?! Believe it! How and I gonna get him down now?!?!"

Naruto went into his room and used the only way sufficient to get him on the bed.

He dropped him.

Uchiha flopped on his bed and somehow didn't wake up. Naruto left the room and back downstairs.

(Next Day)

Naruto and Sakura had decided to sleep at Sasuke's house incase he needed anything during the night.

Actually Sakura had decided and punched Naruto into the idea.

It was about 3:00 in the afternoon when Sasuke had woken up. Today the itch was twice as worse. He jolted from his bed and frantically started to scratch. "…… I hope no one sees me!" Sasuke ran up to his rough wall and rubbed his back against it. He moaned with pleasure, and then stopped.

"Did I just moan?' he asked himself aloud. He disregarded it and continued.

The door burst open with Naruto and Sakura in the doorway. "I knew I heard something!" Naruto said and practically tackled the itchy ninja.

Naruto was on top of him and pinned him to the ground.

"Ha! I knew that you wouldn't be able to control yourself!!"

"LEMME GO!"

"No you can't scratch! Do we really need to put oven mitts on you Sasuke?! You're a ninja, dammit!"

"And yet everything I've faced, THIS IS THE WORST! NOW GET OFF!!"

Sasuke threw Naruto with his legs. He flew against the back wall. "Naruto!!!" Sakura screamed.

Sasuke was exhausted from the excitement. He was on his knee's panting in front of Sakura. "Please Sakura….I'll whatever you want me to do! I'll kiss you, take out on a date, anything! Just please let me scratch!!" he pleaded between pants and almost crying.

Sakura was stunned and had a shocked expression on her face.

"He's……really……….desperate. I wish I could help him but…." Sakura thought.

She moved her hand towards his face. He was expecting a slap to knock him out of his ridiculous pleas but her hand passed his face and slipped in to the back of his shirt. She knelt down at his level and started to rub his back gently.

He was shocked at the nice sensation. The nicest he's felt in 2 days. Sakura's cold hand caressed his hot skin. Sasuke sat there without a word. He was at ease.

"WHAT?!? HOW COME WHEN I TACKLE HIM HE'S FINE BUT ALL YOU DO IS RUB HIS BACK AND HE GIVES IN?!?!?!"

Sakura smiled. She stuck her tongue out at him jokingly and said "Cause I'm a girl. I understand boys better than BOYS understand boys."

Naruto glared at her. Although he liked her a lot, she could be so annoying sometimes.

Especially when she's right.

"Naruto come help me" Sakura ordered as she continued to move her hand across Sasuke's spine. "What am I suppose to do?"

"I think I figured out why he's more itchy then he should be. The inside of his shirt is like the material used for shirt tags. It's probably irritating his skin."

"Hm….that would make sense." Naruto thought. Sasuke was in a daze while all of this was going on. Sakura's hand felt so nice on his flaming back. Plus, to him the room was spinning for him because he was so dizzy.

"Okay so we'll take off his shirt, put some calamine lotion on him, and put him in a much better shirt for his skin" Sakura explained. "That sound good Sasuke?"

He nodded. "Uh-huh." he said lazily but slightly irritated that Sakura had stopped.

Sakura stood up and ran downstairs to fetch the calamine lotion. She searched and searched for it but she couldn't find it.

"Guys!! I'll be right back I need to go buy some calamine lotion" Sakura shouted and sprinted out the door to the nearest store.

An annoyed Naruto and a shirtless Sasuke sat in the room in utter silence until after about 15 minutes, Sasuke unwillingly apologized for being so difficult. For once and only once, Naruto had beat Sasuke in maturity. MATURITY! He was so embarrassed and prayed that this scenario would never happen again.

"……..Eh that's okay. I was twice as worse as you when I had them! I ran all over the village half naked looking for things to scratch with and hiding from Iruka sensei! I even kicked him in the face once. Believe it." Naruto said almost proudly.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Why am I not surprised?"

Naruto growled.

They sat for another 7 minutes when Naruto spoke again.

"Ya know, she may be really annoying sometimes and even though I really like her, you should be nicer to Sakura"

Sasuke looked at him "Why?" he asked.

"What do you mean why?!?" Naruto screamed in his thoughts.

"Well, she really wants to be your friend if anything else. You keep pushing her away if you haven't noticed"

Sasuke reflected on all the times he had spent with Sakura. He thought of words to express her.

Fangirl.

Pathetic.

Annoying.

Flirtatious.

Useless.

But then in all of those times he was with her, he realized that all she wanted to do was help him, even if it was only a little bit.

Maybe he was being a bit too harsh on her.

But he would never admit to the idiot sitting in his room who was so occupied by a moth it was disturbing.

"Back!" came a feminine voice from downstairs, following the sound of feet pounding on the stairs.

Sakura entered the room and opened the bottle.

"That looks disgusting" Sasuke pointed out.

"Sorry but it'll help the itch."

Sakura opened the bottle and the smell wafted into her senses.

She paused.

Her face went pale. She looked like she was about throw up. Sakura swayed back and forth like she was about to fall over.

"Uh…..Sakura?" Naruto asked.

"….Are…are you alright Sakura?" Sasuke asked as well.

She knelt down and shoved the bottle at Naruto.

"I can't……take the…….smell……"

"Oh! …I'll to it if you can't handle the smell." Naruto said.

Sasuke sighed. "I thought for a second I got her sick! That would've been bad." He thought.

Naruto poured it out on a cotton ball and started dabbing it on Sasuke. He shivered.

"I'm sorry it must be really cold." Sakura said.

Sasuke sat there crossed legged with gross crap being put on him. Although it was disgusting, Naruto was smearing it everywhere, and Sakura couldn't stop looking at his chest,

It was nice.

And as much as he hates to admit it, these two are his best friends.

One was his biggest rival and one was obsessed with him. Yet they were the reason for his sanity. Things have been so much easier since they came in to his life.

"Thank you" he said to his teammates quietly, with a small smile. He just realized how grateful he was for their friendship.

"Eh… no problem. But you better pay me back for this!" Naruto said wiping the goo.

"I'll think of something" Sasuke said. "But I can pay back Sakura now"

His teammates were confused. "How are gonna pay me-…."

Sasuke interrupted her sentence by giving Sakura a quick kiss on the cheek.

She went bright red and fell over.

Naruto. Freaked. Out.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST RANDOMLY KISSING PEOPLE LIKE THAT?!?!"

"Well you did say that I should be NICER to her right?"

"YEAH BUT THAT'S A LITTLE MUCH DON'T YOU THINK?!?"

"WELL I THINK SHE DESERVED IT!"

"YEAH BUT YOU COULD'VE WARNED ME YOU WERE GONNA DO THAT!!"

"BAKA!"

"IDIOT!"

"THAT'S WHAT BAKA MEANS, BAKA!!"

Naruto and Sasuke fought until Sasuke fainted from his headache caused by screaming at Naruto. Sakura was in heaven, lying on the floor staring at the ceiling.

"He kissed me. Sasuke kissed me. HE REALLY KISSED ME!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! I'M GONNA MELT!!! AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1one"

Later that night after everyone was fed and Sasuke's shirt was made of cotton instead of shirt tag, they all sat on the couch. Sasuke was spread across it, fast asleep, and his head on Naruto's lap.

"-Sigh- I'm gonna punch him when he wakes up!!!!"

"Not now…….too tired." Sakura said. Naruto smiled. Even though she was exhausted, she seemed so happy. Naruto put his arm around her shoulder, cautiously and expecting a slap, but she let him. She fell asleep on his shoulder.

Naruto was SO happy!!!

He looked down at Sasuke and said,

"You don't need to pay me back anymore Sasuke. This is good enough"

Sasuke opened one eye.

"Good cause I'm……………..not..kissin' you if ..that's what you're thinking." Sasuke said sarcastically and quietly.

"Shut………..up…Uchi………

Naruto fell asleep on Sakura.

And for Sasuke, it was the best sickness that he had ever experienced.

(end)

TA DA!! Haha its fun to make his plea!! Don't get me wrong, I think Sasuke is awesome. But he deserves a healthy dose of humiliation.

So yes! Please comment.

If you flame…..

The proceeding money will go to the Riku is So Ugly and Should Explode Foundation.

Please do not contribute to this awful foundation. RIKU IS HAWT.

Enjoy you're day and if you like J-ROCK listen to Chain by BACK ON. (Opening for Air Gear)


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